I THOUGHT she was my best friend...

When I was in the third grade I met a girl. This girl instantly became my best friend. 15 years later, I still consider her one of my best friends... I think. She got engaged a little over a month ago. Since then, she has set the date and even gotten close to finding her band. If I'm not mistaken, the second you get engaged you basically tell all your friends if they will be your maid of honor or bridesmaid, right? Well, I haven't gotten anything like that yet. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions. I have a younger sister, not too much younger, and the best friend I speak of was going to be my maid of honor over her if I ever got married. Not there yet, but I'm terribly afraid that I won't even play any part in this girl's wedding. Have I lost my best friend and not known? Is she really closer to her other girlfriends? Does she not remember that we grew up together? Does she not remember telling me all her secrets or me telling her all my secrets? And what about when we had our first cigarette together? (And we are both still smoking to this very day). Her wedding is in May of 2010. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the next year, but after that I'm giving up all hope of having a best friend. 15 years is a long time... and I hope she doesn't screw me over. I guess I'd better start thinking of other options for a bridesmaid.

See, this is kinda like AIDS...

I don't feel like making this very long. Not in a great mood. Long story short my boyfrind learned his "best friend's" secret language. Yeah, they're in thier twenties. I knew a secret langage in 6th grade and have since forgotten it. He won't tell me what it is, because his word to his friend i more important than our relationship. I guess if I wasn't PMSing it would be a little different. No, not really. He told me that I was the most important thing to him in his life, I'm more of a best friend to him than anyone he has ever known, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Then tell me the damn language!! I have never been so hurt and left out from something from someone who suppposedly loves me so much. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

Who kissed who?

A few months ago... a long few months ago... I was hanging out with a friend. I met him through where I work. We had a great time hanging out together as friends, and had a few drinks. Well, one thing led to another, and we kissed. No big deal, it really didn't mean anything. He came into town from school the other day and I talked with him for a little while. He told me to call him yesterday. Well, I knew I wouldn't call him. There's this girl at work who knows him as well. She started saying that she introduced him to me. Well, yeah, but she introduced us about an hour after they met. During the summer I saw him more than she did at work. She's telling me that she hung out with him the other night, and more and more details started coming out little at a time. She told me he kissed her. All I have to say is: Why does everyone seem to want my seconds, and think it's ok? In this case I could really care less, but there's going to be that one person somewhere where one of these girls goes after someone else's seconds, and it's going to be the wrong person. Girls are so very greedy. This is the third girl where I work that has had my seconds. One of the girls had my seconds twice!!! But I'm seeing a pattern. Two out of these three girls are from California. I have come to the realization that California girls are greedy selfish whores. Sorry, but just my observation. So back to that kiss. Apparently he kissed her. But she had to have done something to let her know it was ok to kiss her. Like I said, this time I could care less, but she's not nearly as hot as I am! So why would a guy do that to friends? Wait, he wears pink collared shirts, wallabees, and his frat shirts all the time. Wow. That explained it all. Huh. I guess there was really no need to vent.

DISCLAIMER

So I don't think I've ever blogged before. Well, except fot the bs on myspace. I'm not using actual names or places. I want to be as anonymous as possible. I want people to understand how complicated my life is. Most of the time it's normal. But then shit hits the fan and everything goes haywire. I'm getting over an insane period in my life. The past few months have been nothing but crazy. So anyone who reads this, I'm warning you... it might get complicated.