I THOUGHT she was my best friend...

When I was in the third grade I met a girl. This girl instantly became my best friend. 15 years later, I still consider her one of my best friends... I think. She got engaged a little over a month ago. Since then, she has set the date and even gotten close to finding her band. If I'm not mistaken, the second you get engaged you basically tell all your friends if they will be your maid of honor or bridesmaid, right? Well, I haven't gotten anything like that yet. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions. I have a younger sister, not too much younger, and the best friend I speak of was going to be my maid of honor over her if I ever got married. Not there yet, but I'm terribly afraid that I won't even play any part in this girl's wedding. Have I lost my best friend and not known? Is she really closer to her other girlfriends? Does she not remember that we grew up together? Does she not remember telling me all her secrets or me telling her all my secrets? And what about when we had our first cigarette together? (And we are both still smoking to this very day). Her wedding is in May of 2010. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the next year, but after that I'm giving up all hope of having a best friend. 15 years is a long time... and I hope she doesn't screw me over. I guess I'd better start thinking of other options for a bridesmaid.